MTC

I walked to the Temple this morning.  (Well, it wasn't really morning, but it was right after I got up, so that's close enough.)  On my way up, passing the MTC, my mind was wandering through life two years ago, when I was there.  The differences between mission life and regular life are surprising.  In the MTC, we had relatively little to obsess over, so we obsessed over stuff like soccer and Chilean words.  I won't say it was a perfect experience, because it definitely wasn't--I had my own issues to work through, which I didn't do until more than a year into my mission--but I enjoyed it and I wish I could go back.

Suddenly, I had a strong sense of panic, and I realized I'd forgotten something important.  I looked at my left shoulder, and my nametag was missing.

...I don't need a nametag.  I don't even have one in Provo.  I got released as a missionary more than three months ago.

*sigh*

Matthew 16:13-23

When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?  And they said, some say that thou art John the Baptist; some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.  He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?  And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the living God.  And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona:  for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.  And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.  And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven:  and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven:  and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.  Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.

From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.  Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord:  this shall not be unto thee.  But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan:  thou art an offense unto me:  for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

Like Peter, I have seen extreme spiritual highs and lows almost back to back.  I don't understand exactly why things happen that way.  I'd much rather just have a constant, steady upwards progression, however slow it may be.

It's easy to get caught up in the negative, though.  Every one of us is imperfect.  Peter, the man who authoritatively declared Christ's divinity, who later boldly testified before the Sanhedrin, "We ought to obey God rather than men," who worked mighty miracles of healing and even raised people from the dead, had to endure one of the Savior's most stinging criticisms.  If he can be called Satan by our Lord, and yet become the chief Apostle, surely we too can overcome our sins and become true and faithful servants of God.  If He corrects us, it's evidence that He hasn't given up on us yet.

That may not make the correction any easier, but it gives me hope.

One of those moments

Ever have one of those moments when you really want to make a blog post but just don't have anything important to post about?  This is one of them.

Keep the people of Turkey in your prayers.  There was an earthquake there measuring 7.2 on the Richter scale today, and at least 200 people have been reported dead with an unknown number missing and buried in the rubble.

I did liken all scriptures unto us...

O that I were a full-time missionary,
and could have the wish of mine heart,
that I might go forth and speak with
authority from God, and cry repentance
unto all Chile!  Yea, I would declare
unto every soul repentance and the
plan of redemption, that they should
repent and come unto our God, that
there might be no sorrow upon all the
face of the earth.  But behold, my
mission has ended, and I do sin in my
wish; for I ought to be content with the
things which the Lord hath allotted unto
me.  I ought not to harrow up in my
desires the firm decree of a just God,
for I know that he granteth unto men
according to their desire, whether it
be unto death or unto life; yea, I know
that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth
unto them decrees which are unalterable,
according to their wills, whether they
be unto salvation or unto destruction.
Yea, and I know that good and evil
have come before all men, and the
gospel has been taught to all my
converts; he that knoweth not good
from evil is blameless; but he that
knoweth good and evil, to him it is
given according to his desires, whether
he desireth good or evil, life or death,
joy or remorse of conscience.

I know that which the Lord hath
commanded me, and I glory in it.  I do
not glory of myself, but I glory in that
which the Lord hath commanded me;
yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I
still may be an instrument in the hands
of God to bring some soul to repentance;
and this is my joy.  And behold, when I
see many of my brethren truly penitent,
and coming to the Lord their God, then
is my soul filled with joy; then do I
remember what the Lord has done for me,
yea, even that he hath heard my prayer;
yea, then do I remember his merciful arm
which he extended towards me.  And now
may God grant unto these, my brethren,
that they may sit down in the kingdom of
God, that they may go no more out, but
that they may praise him forever.  And may
God grant that it may be done according to
my words, even as I have spoken.  Amen.

Awesome, in three parts.

I discovered a natural law on my mission. It is that only the worst music from the US makes it overseas. For the first year or so, pretty much everywhere I went, I'd hear people listening to Miley Cyrus on the radio. Around the second year, she was replaced by Justin Bieber. The various other artists that I was exposed to were better, but not by much.

When I got home, my brother quite kindly introduced me to some of the better things that had happened in my absence. And so I first heard this song.

Welcome Home, by Radical Face

James, meet modern folk rock. Modern folk rock, meet James. It was love at first sound.

Fast forward nearly three months. I am listening to the radio, and I hear something wonderful. Further investigation identifies...

Churlish May, by Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit

It was awesome with a British accent. Simple and accessible, yet beautiful and profound.

And almost immediately, I was presented with a new item of excellence.

Roll Away Your Stone, by Mumford and Sons

It turns out I'd heard of this band before. A friend of mine had been listening to it while I was at his house right before I left for BYU, but I was too busy talking to him to be able to pay attention to it. My roommate tells me that Mumford and Sons is actually pretty famous right now. I can definitely see why.

In a world of mass-produced factory-built songs, folk is genuine music, something that can really be described as art. I love it.

SPECIAL BONUS SONG FROM BACK IN THE DAY!!!

I promise, I'm not a hippie. But I can't listen to this particular recording of this song and not be happy. It sounds so awesome...

That they might have joy.

It was not until the last months of my mission that I really understood missionary work. As President Benson said, quoted in Preach My Gospel, the secret to missionary work really is work. I worked harder, better, and with more love in those last three months than ever before in my life. As a result, I was far happier than I had ever been in my life. I felt almost constant joy as I served people that I loved.

And then, in a day, it all ended.

I don't complain about coming home. I knew, from before day one of my mission, that it would end in July of 2011. In the time since then, I have been able to be around family and friends and come back to BYU. And yet, compared to then, life is so... boring.

That's more or less how I've felt since I arrived at home. Make no mistake, I'm happy, but it's been a genuine struggle to find the same joy that I felt when I was in Chile. I get up every morning, go to work, go to class, do homework, and get to bed in time for seven or eight hours of sleep. It keeps me running, and it moves me towards my goals, but it isn't as fulfilling as I'd like it to be.

But there is one thing that has been an exception to this rule. Sometime during my freshman year, I gave my e-mail address to the BYU group Students for International Development. Then, while I was in Chile, my brother Robert got involved in the group and mentioned it to me on several occasions. Students for International Development (SID) is an organization dedicated to increasing awareness of poverty, here and abroad, and how poverty can be alleviated. There's something about development that just inspires me. I haven't been able to reach that same level of joy that I felt on my mission, but I'm beginning to taste it again, and I like it so far.

I'm just going to mention one SID event here. Yesterday, I attended the Peery Film Festival. Rather than attempting to explain it in depth myself, I shall simply link to it right here. Basically, film students create short videos (under ten minutes) about a development organization. The films from this year have not yet been posted, but those from last year are there. It's an amazing chance to get to see the innovative ways that people are helping people escape from the cycle of poverty. More and more, I think this is what I want to do with my life.

I hope you enjoy the films. If anyone is interested in getting involved with Students for International Development, the group meets every Thursday at 7:30 PM in room 238 of the Kennedy Center.

As the semester continues, I expect to have more items of awesomeness and more details to post about development. Next semester, I plan to publish a series of posts on the annual Hunger Banquet, the biggest and arguably most exciting development-related event on campus.

Thus I return to the blogosphere. Awesome.

Edit: I just saw this article on a closely related topic. Nothing spectacular, but it's a case of development making it into the news.

Intro to Awesome

Well, I have finally gotten the better of my procrastination and started a blog. I plan to use it for the publishing and discussion of a wide variety of topics, from international development to music to LDS doctrine to my job on the BYU grounds crew to internet humor. The one common theme that will hopefully run through all posts is awesomeness.

That's really all I've got to say about the blog itself. Enjoy!